Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
