youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
