Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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