Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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