someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
