I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
