You can't special order awesome
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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