Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
