My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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