4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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