Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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