I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize