I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
3 2 1 whiskey
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
