and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
