So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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