If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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