Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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