he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I need to stop coming to work sober
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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