Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
