are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
