Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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