Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
