There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
soo... how was my night?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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