dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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