Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
