All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
