belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
