so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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