My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
