jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
