what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize