if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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