oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
