My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
