worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
