how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
