That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
