You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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