So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
