i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
