Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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