Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
