you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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