Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I've blown a few things in my day
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
the raccoons are back...
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