I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
