Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
