I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
