did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
