PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My vagina is officially offended.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
