Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
