Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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