My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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