Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize