Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize
