I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
