so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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