my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
