You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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