There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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