omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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