She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
