There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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