just tell him i said nine months
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
