I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
