doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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