Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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