Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
we should paint friendship bongs
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