So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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